Open Hands: The Dance of Mercy and Wisdom in Fierce Winds

As the Santa Ana winds rage across Southern California this January, I'm struck by how nature mirrors our human hearts – how the same force that feeds destructive fires also carries seeds of renewal, how some use the chaos to prey while others rise to shelter strangers.

On the pod today, I read about Gina Zapanta and Michael Alder, who opened their doors to provide emergency housing and supplies to over 100 wildfire evacuees. In the same news cycle, there were reports of looting in evacuated neighborhoods. Same winds, different hearts.

This contrast strikes me as a perfect metaphor for how we handle the fierce winds that blow through our families. Some use emotional storms as an excuse to harm, while others transform that same energy into protection and care. Like Gina and Michael opening their doors to fire evacuees, we must sometimes become the shelter we needed when we were young. Other times (there are plenty of looters afoot) too, we must rally for justice.

In these early days of 2025, as winter holds us in its complicated grip, I find myself thinking about what it means to hold both mercy and wisdom in open hands. Like many of you, I'm learning that forgiveness isn't a one-time choice but a continuous unfolding – a dance that sometimes requires us to step back even as our hearts remain open.

This past week, I watched my child flinch at someone else's anger – anger meant for me – and felt that familiar tug between compassion and protection rise in my chest. It was a moment of clarity, a reminder that mercy doesn't mean we stop seeing clearly. Sometimes love looks like drawing a new line in the sand.

When I think of those providing shelter from these literal fires, I'm reminded that we're all called to be both merciful and wise – to keep our hands open while reading the temperature of our rooms with clear eyes. Some will use the storms as an excuse to take; others will transform them into opportunities to give. The question for each of us is: how will we use the winds that blow through our lives?

For those of us raising children within complex family dynamics, this means teaching them a sophisticated emotional vocabulary while not asking them to hold it all. It means helping them understand that they can love someone deeply while being wise about that person's struggles. That forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting wisdom. That mercy can look like maintaining healthy distance.

In our extended reflection, we'll explore the deeper layers of mercy, examining how to protect what's precious while keeping our hearts soft. We'll look at practical ways to set boundaries without building walls, and how to help our children navigate the emotional weather patterns in their lives. In this month's deeper dive subscriber content, we dive deeper into the layers of mercy, exploring (with individual, relational, journaling, and group questions):

• How to set boundaries without building walls

• Practical ways to protect our children while maintaining hope for healing

• The difference between enabling and extending grace

• Tools for recognizing when patterns need new responses

• Prayer practices for keeping our hearts soft while our wisdom grows

• Stories of families who've learned to weather storms together

• How to create shelter for others while protecting your own peace

Join our deeper dive community to access the full reflection and be part of our ongoing conversation about navigating family relationships with both mercy and wisdom, especially in times when the winds of change force us to set our plans anew.

First, let’s pray:

A Prayer for Wise Mercy:

In these winds of change, Lord, Grant us wisdom to discern when to shelter and when to step away, When to bridge and when to boundary, When to hold close and when to hold space.

Give us courage to protect while keeping our hearts soft,

To forgive while staying wise,

To love fiercely enough

To choose both mercy and truth.

Help us read the weather of our relationships with clear eyes,

While keeping our hands open To Your transforming grace.

Guide us as we shelter others,

Even as we learn to become

The safe harbor we needed

When we were young.

In Your mercy and wisdom,

We trust and grow.

Amen.

Photo by seth schwiet on Unsplash